Two and a Half Men
Mo, Th-Fr 19:05, Tu-We 19:00 · Rerun Mo-Su

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and nephew move into his beach-front house.

  • Country of originUnited States
  • Year when published2005
  • CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S2:E11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
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S2:E12
A Lung Full of Alan
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.
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S9:E22
Why We Gave Up Women
Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.
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S2:E13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
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S9:E23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
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S2:E14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
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S9:E24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
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S2:E15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.
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S10:E1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.
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S9:E16
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day because of a torrential storm.
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S2:E6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now-infuriated brother.
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S2:E7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
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S9:E17
Not in My Mouth!
When Zoey doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately picking up on another woman.
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S9:E18
The War Against Gingivitis
Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.
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S2:E8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
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S9:E19
Palmdale, Ech
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
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S2:E9
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
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S9:E20
Grandma's Pie
Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
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S2:E10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
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S9:E21
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
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S10:E2
A Big Bag of Dog
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.
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S2:E16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.
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S2:E17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter goes horribly wrong.
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S10:E3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.
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S2:E18
It Was Mame, Mom
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
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S10:E4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.
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S2:E19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exes.
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S10:E5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
After a series of bad double-date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex Rose.
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S2:E20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.
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S10:E6
Ferrets, Attack!
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.
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S10:E7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.
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S2:E21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
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S2:E22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.
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S10:E8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.
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S10:E9
I Scream When I Pee
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.
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S2:E23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents' house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
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S2:E24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
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S10:E10
One Nut Johnson
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.
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S10:E11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.
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S3:E1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
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S10:E12
Welcome to Alancrest
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.
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S3:E2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Alan must lobby Jake's principal to keep him from getting expelled, leaving Charlie to manage the chiropractic office for the day.
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S10:E13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.
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S3:E3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.
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S10:E14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.
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S3:E4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.
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S10:E15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Alan is alarmed when he discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.
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S3:E5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
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S3:E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
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S10:E16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.
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S3:E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
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S10:E17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Walden goes to a mixer to find a woman but runs into his ex-wife Bridget instead.
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S10:E18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.
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S3:E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
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S10:E19
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden take Herb out to take his mind off of his troubles, but his partying quickly spirals out of control.
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S3:E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
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S3:E10
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
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S10:E20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Tammy comes after Jake after he cheats on her with her 18 year old daughter.
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S10:E21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.
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S3:E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
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